May 2012
went to the coffee shop today. random guy asks me what i’m reading. proceed with conversation about favorite philosophers and concepts. all of a sudden entire coffee shop joins in.
my life is rad. i’m rad. even if the majority of society may disagree.
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multiculturalism/white...
when life gives me lemons
i don’t make lemonade
i work for some change
and scrounge up the missing ingredients
asshole
if my life had a soundtrack, flipper definitely would have made it
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i always begin writing and get too lazy to finish @_@.
I just realized I’m going to be in the middle of nowhere, on a farm, all summer. gon be reading and snuggling and watchin da stars and chain smoking all night
Learning Right from Wrong; the God Process.
My routine for the past three months has actually been quite satisfying although everyone seems to think different. I mean, those people are the reason this has become my routine, and if you’re reading this, you’re definitely one of those people as well.
What I mean to say, is that I’ve come to take a God-like role and I say this as an atheist. I’ve taken the position of...
ideas
portable bookstore cafe
April 2012
i’ve been looking into schizoid personality disorder, which would explain a lot of things. although my symptoms aren’t serious enough to warrant a trip to a psychiatrist, so i’ll pass on that.
Signs & symptoms that I have(here for overt and covert features):
Prefer being alone and usually choose solitary activities
Prize independence and have few close friendships (none,...
girl i hooked up with months ago who thinks it’s a good idea to call me at 4AM while I’m snuggling with my girlfriend and trying to rest before work… kill yourself.
Existential Crisis
saved my life. I’m so glad it happened sooner rather than later, any age after 17 might have been too late or depressing.
Hoboken on Thursday
Pittsburgh in 2-3 weeks
Chicago in 5 weeks
San Francisco in 6 weeks and staying there for 2-3 months
Working on my first theoretical essay and applying for a grant from the Institute of Anarchist Studies. Stoked and hopeful that this works out. I could really use the $4k and even if it isn’t accepted, the editorial assistance and publication would be rad too.
pretty interesting day
For a few months friends have been telling me how easy it is to sneak into a college lecture so today I decided to attend one with Ali. Although I showed up late the lecture was about globalization and modernization theory so once entering the teacher had called for a show of hands on whether students felt that modernization theory works or not. Ali being an asshole puts her down and leaves me...
Depression, too, is a type of fire
littlebluepenguin:
I’m an idiot because once before we were married she asked me whether I knew that we would not be having children if we did get married, and I said yes. And because she knew I was lying, she asked if I was really okay with that. And because I’m an idiot I said yes again. And once during a fight, not married more than two years, she said she felt like my first wife, and I, like...
March 2012
“So we ask the believers in the State, who pretend that we can never do without a...”
– Peter Kropotkin (via socialistscum)
Took adderall for the first time today. I’m assuming the effects are only this strong because it’s my first time and my body isn’t accustomed to 15mg. I feel jittery yet focused. I spent 2 hours figuring out my course schedule while my girlfriend was harassing me to go get food, yet I had lost my appetite, and getting up to do anything else was way too difficult. Even sitting...
2 hours of sleep, work, eat, try to sleep, fail, drink coffee, read, go to a meeting, try to sleep, finally manage 2 hours before work, repeat.
new obsession with the soviet union and marxism. reading about the great patriotic war atm and picked up a 600 pg book titled “the bolsheviks” and marxs interpretation of history. kinda ticks me off a bit when people question why i love marx, but ffs even bakunin and kropotkin were influenced by the man.
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Everything is done to escape. I didn’t pick up books simply to learn. I did it because I couldn’t find happiness anywhere else. Honestly, I tried, I looked everywhere; parties, friends, games, tv, etc. Had I been capable of going out and doing something else, I would, but I can’t. And really, I’m no different from anyone else, regardless of what it is they do to fill up...
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You and me are real people, operating in a real world. We are not figments of each other’s imagination. I am the architect of my own self, my own character and destiny. It is no use whingeing about what I might have been, I am the things I have done and nothing more. We are all free, completely free. We can each do any damn thing we want. Which is more than most of us dare to imagine.
Subjective rationality and healthy ways of dealing...
For about a month now I’ve been dating Ali and issues I faced but never dealt with in my previous relationship are beginning to show their face again. I’ll admit, I’m needy, jealous, and terrible at communication(although much better than I was in the past). Still, this has been the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been, in that I have the opportunity to apply everything...
1 month anniversary
Neither of us got each other anything(we wouldn’t have the time considering we’re always together). Just sat around reading books, kissing, and smoking cigarettes.
When people say existentialism is depressing
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For a long time I had lived in the illusion of a general agreement, whereas, from all sides, judgments, arrows, mockeries rained upon me, inattentive and smiling. The day I was alerted I became lucid; I received all the wounds at the same time and lost my strength all at once. The whole universe then began to laugh at me
Maybe I'm just an asshole
but I’m not sure whether it’s too much time around people that makes me sick, or people themselves.
I wish I had the strength to run or eliminate...
I really do hate love. My fear of it really shows once I’ve finally felt it. It’s a completely different feeling to love and fear losing it than go on without it.
I’m not sure whether it’s just me, but I have no idea why anyone would chase this.
February 2012
Taking care of my girlfriend because she has food poisoning while reading Marx and Engel’s selected works. Kinda wish I had a cigarette.
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Mind's Eye
How a mechanic sees a car for what it’s composed of rather than just a means of transportation, or how a doctor sees the body and all of its components; this exact perspective is the only way to come to any real understanding. For example, consciousness or human nature aren’t unique as in completely detached from the environment(previous and current conditions; history; means of...
“Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you...”
– Terrence McKenna (via tribalseeds) Have you seen the crazy shit I can come up with when I trip?
Would like to learn Arabic but fuck that doesn’t seem like it’s gonna happen anytime soon.
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i love karl marx
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1978. San Diego. I’d just come out the other side of a relationship that blew up…I was angry, and disillusioned, and ultimately self-destructive. I’d lost everything I believed in …I was as utterly, completely alone as I’ve ever been. So I began going on walks. I started taking late-night walks around the San Diego suburb I was living in at the time. I’d start...
I need some fucking room to breathe.
Spent literally every single day of the past 3 weeks with my girlfriend just chillin’, smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee, reading books, laughing at society, and drinking at bars. Haven’t been this happy in way too long.
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Responsible? You’ve simply reached an age where the effects of capitalism have taken such a huge toll on your life that you’ve grown apathetic and egotistical. Lied to since birth and throughout school until you’re eventually cast into wage slavedom. How difficult it must be to admit you regret waking up every day to step into the same mindless routines of manufactured life that...
ANARCHISTS ARE DESTROYING OCCUPY
As if the movement would even exist or succeed as much as it has if it hadn’t drawn from anarchist concepts. Fucking irrational statists. Let’s go back to throwing peace signs in front of the police because systematic oppression doesn’t affect our lives nearly as much as others. Wake the dead and tell them to sing and hold hands in the face of violent oppression. PATIENCE IS FOR...
life is good
kisses and snuggles all day picked up War and Peace, Anna Karenina, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, and An Analysis of a Case of Hysteria for $4 got hooked up with a job at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum and moving into a radical house
now gonna chill, play vidya games, and read until I have to work.
EVERYONE IS SUFFERING FROM DEMENTIA
January 2012
books
cigarettes
coffee
music(jazz, anarcho punk, folk punk, and reggae)
All I’ll ever need.
to do
Books Not Bombs patches
Buy old WWII cameras since all my camera gear got stolen.
Join the IWW
direct action
direct action
direct action
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What are these barriers that keep people from reaching anywhere near their real potential? The answer to that can be found in another question, and that’s this: Which is the most universal human characteristic – fear or laziness?
I don’t know who this quote belongs to but I think it’s something you should all think about.
In all seriousness, I want the most conservative fucker there is for president.
How many times have you laid in bed, slept through the night without a thought in mind? You see it’s not the pain that I’m afraid of, no it’s that constant threat of wasting time.